March 25, 2006
Why Can't We Find Work?
A week ago in France, a group of "young worders" — aged 26 and under — staged a rally to protest a new law making it easier for companies to fire workers under 26 during the first two years of employment.
These young individuals are upset, they claim, because this new law will make it too easy for companies to fire young workers at a time when it is already nearly impossible for young people to find work. According to one report, the under-26 demographic sports a daunting 20% unemployment rate!
It would seem to me, however, that if I were a business owner considering hiring someone, but knew that if I didn't like their work, or just their personality, that I would have to jump through a strenuous series of hoops to un-hire them, I'd probably try very hard to continue operating without bringing anybody new (and thus unproven) aboard. When hiring a new pwerson becomes a risk, it's tempting not to hire at all. This is worse among young workers who may not have significant experience under their belt -- and thus no laundry-list of references proving their capability and willingness to work.
So, as an under-twenty-sixer myself, I'd be in favor of lowering the risk involved in hiring young workers, even at the expense of "job security."
Why? Because I know that I'm a valuable asset to my employer — and would never take a job otherwise &mdash so I'm not afraid of being fired (in fact, I live in a state where you can be fired for any reason — or no reason &mdash and yet I've held my current position for over four years!). I'd want to encourage potential employers to "take a chance" on me by lowering the risk. This way, they might hire me figuring if I didn't work out, they could always send me on my way.
If you make firing hard, you make hiring dangerous, and thus rare. The young workers in Paris should be protesting against the misguided social policy that is the direct cause of the outlandish 20% unemployment rate, rather than protesting a law that will, in all probability, result in more young workers being able to find higher-paying jobs and decreasing unemployment among young workers.
— The Shelanman
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February 15, 2006
What We're Up Against
Headline: "Hamas: We Drink Jews' Blood"
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/682921.html
I am continually amazed at the degree of evil in the world.
What is truly amazing to me, however, is that there are people; many prominent people; who sympathize with these beasts. What do we have to do to convince the world that these are not Diplomats and Politicians, not Fugitives and Refugees, but Butchers and Murderers?
How can anyone feel anything but disgust for someone who could say this?
"We will not leave you alone until we quench ourselves with your blood and we will quench the thirst of our children with your blood. We will not rest until you leave the lands of the Muslims."
or this?
"My message to the hated Jews: There is no God but Allah. We will hunt you everywhere, when you wake and when you sleep. We are a blood-drinking people and we know that there is no better blood than Jewish blood."
or this?
"By the life of Allah, we will destroy you. We will blow you up. We will take our revenge on you. We will purify our land of you, pigs, who have defiled our land. By the life of Allah, we will take our vengeance. We are carrying out this operation as harsh revenge against the sons of monkeys and pigs."
I understand that I may not be entirely neutral on the issue... but just look at the rhetoric:
Israel wants peace within it's borders, and a democratic, Jewish state in which all (Muslims included) are welcome (even if Jews are, perhaps, more welcome than others).
Hamas wants to kill every living Jew and drink their blood... I rest my case...
— The Shelanman
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June 07, 2005
Real Men vs Real Gamers
Today I came across something... truly special. I received (95th hand, I'm sure) an anonymous post from someone who wants to tell the Story of Life from a hardcore gamer perspective. Normally I read this stuff, laugh, and move along, but this one is so... well... just read it, you'll see
UPDATE! I found out where this came from. Originally posted by "Savage Henry" on The Heel Tribune.(source: The Heel Tribune)
And now, on to the story... entitled:
(Mario) Bros before Hoes
Sorry ladies, my princess is in another castle. I am not a stereotypical alpha male. You won't find me cruising around frat row with a gaggle of drunk girls on each arm, or 'rocking the dance floor' with my 'phat moves', or sitting in a greasy bar leering at people (I'm not 21 yet). I do not like football. In fact, I wear glasses and read science fiction on a daily basis.
That doesn't mean I don't get my share of the action. It just depends what kind of action you mean.
For you see, there's plenty of action in my life. I am a spaceship captain, a terrorist, a fierce medieval warrior, a futuristicky super-soldier, a vigilante gang member, and a race car driver. Hell, I'm all of these things in the same evening! Forget going outdoors – that is soo twentieth century. All my action lives on convenient little disks, and fit neatly into a console which fits neatly atop my big screen TV.
Now, don't get me wrong. I may be pasty-faced and a little flabby, but I'm no virgin. In fact, coming out of a relationship is what inspired me to write this article. I realized, as I was alternating between sobbing into my pillow and sobbing not into my pillow, that I'd lost focus in my life. I couldn't remember the last time I had smoked every other car on the track, or blew up a Covenant Elite with a plasma grenade. I looked at the calendar. Holy crap, it's May! I've been in committed relationships since December 2003! How could this happen?
Then it hit me: I had abandoned my bros, those guys that kept me going through thick and thin, hard times, loss of limbs, etc., all in the name of cheap, wild, unrestrained, dripping, screaming, orgasm-tastic sex. Uh......
Sorry, got distracted for a second. See how easy it can be to lose sight of the things that really matter?
Like too many others, I had abandoned Mario and Luigi, patron saints of single men everywhere, for paltry excitements in the real world, or as I like to call it, that place you can't shoot things all the time or drive really fast or even fly.
Now that I have freed myself from the clutches of the opposite sex, I can reform my heretical ways. My first penance was to play videogames. Sounds easy for a penance? Damn straight it is, that's why I'm choosing Mario Bros. over hoes from now on.
Think about it. Anyone can get a girlfriend if they try – I'm living proof of that. But how many people can say they got 25 headshots in a round, or vaporized an entire enemy fleet unscathed, or rescued Daisy in less time than it takes to order pizza? Not too many, you're right.
I challenge anyone else who knows the pure rush of ecstasy that is victory over 8 to 1 odds at Soul Calibur II to honestly say they'd rather be dealing with someone else's PMS. Trust me, it's not worth it.
So from now on I've got my priorities straight. Girls, I know you crave my hot, muscular thumbs, light green skin tone, and near-sighted squint, but I'm taken. Videogames make life worth living. Super Mario Bros., take me home.
— Anonymous;
WOW!
That's really all I can say about this little treatise... It is hiliarious in a definitely-could-be-real sort of way, and it's somewhere between infinitely profound and truly... pathetic.
Either way, it was worth the read, ne?
— The Shelanman
Posted by andrew at 04:27 PM | Comments (0)
June 03, 2005
The Apple P.R. Machine Wins Again
Apple's ability to manipulate the emotions of the press and Ye Faithful Yet Few continues to amaze me.
About 6 months ago, a friend of mine went to the Apple Store, because their then-18-month-old iPod didn't work. No matter what you did, you just got the Apple logo... no combination of button-pushing would provide any useful results.
The Apple Genius (their term, not mine), said that they don't repair iPods, and he should throw it away and buy a new one. Erm... $299 - $499 is a lot to pay for non-durable technology! I mean, that's the tactic you take with cellular phones, but they cost more like $59 - $99 (unless you choose to pay the "no-contract" tax)
Needless to say, my friend didn't buy another iPod. He considered selling the broken one to Dell for a $49 discount on one of their MP3 players...
Well, today I saw this article on Yahoo! News. It would seem that Apple has decided that they will gladly take back broken iPods now, and at no extra charge recycle them for you. And if you decide you want to replace that device-that-shouldn't-have-died, they'll give you a 10% discount off retail price!
Could you imagine if, say, Fry's Electronics, decided that when your components failed long before their time, they'd throw 'em out for you, and even give you a tiny discount should you want a replacement part? The press would say more like Fry's Electronics Rips Off Consumers -- Won't Replace Defective Parts That Died Before Their Time"
OK, so perhaps the press wouldn't care what Fry's did -- but still, you wouldn't see members of the press heaping boundless praise upon them for such an act!
— The Shelanman
Posted by andrew at 10:57 AM | Comments (0)
October 29, 2004
Be Nice... Or They'll Cast a Spell On You
On October 21st, ABC News ran an article about a Washington state school district that has banned Hallowe'en celebrations.(source: ABC News).
Apparently, the district's superintendant found three different problems with having Hallowe'en parties at school, and has therefore decided to ban the practice. This is a shame, I seem to recall finding the half-hour parties grand fun when I was in elementary school -- it was so cool to be at school, but not having to do school stuff... and the candy or whatever was a nice bonus too!
What could be wrong with a little Hallowe'en party? What indeed...
Mr. Superintendant has three problems with such a party:
- Parties, celebrations, parades... these things waste "valuable class time" that could be spent torturing children with more homework.
- Hallowe'en parties involve dressing up in costumes. Costumes cost money, and therefore poor children will feel left out.
- Dressing up like a witch might offend "real witches" -- that is followers of the Wiccan religion.
In my personal opinion the number one most important thing that children learn in elementary school is how to socially interact with others. Let me rephrase: It is more important that school children learn how to interact in elementary school than anything else the teachers can provide. In my opinion, the second most important lesson is how to survive in a structured environment. What about reading, writing, and 'rithmatic? I am 100% convinced that good parents will teach their children these things without the school, and that even gloriously good schooling will not be enough -- especially in the early stages... anyway, back to the point.
Since learning to interact well is an important part of education, I see no reason why on the few holidays recognized by schools, little parties can't be held.
On to the second reason. Not all costumes must be store-bought. It is entirely possible to cheaply construct an adequate costume. Besides, it is a plain and simple fact that there are wealthy people and poor people, and we must all learn to live together. It is good for the children from wealthier families to see what poverty is, and it is definitely good for everybody to learn that not everybody is the same and that having less [or more] money does not make you a worse [or better], dumber [or smarter] person. It simple defines how much stuff you can have.
The third reason. Do I really need to say anything here? This is sick, it's disgusting. I can't believe for a second that anybody would be offended by children dressing up in the traditional witch costume. I don't care if there is a religion based around it. I'm Jewish, if someone decided to dress up as a Jew, and decided that the costume should look, oh, like this, for example, I might be offended, I might find it hilarious, and either way, I'd have absolutely not right to stop you!.
On a side note, here is a collection of Hallowe'en costumes in moderately poor taste that I found amusing.
</RANT>
— The Shelanman
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October 13, 2004
How to Lose a Sale in 24 Seconds
Some people can sell practically anything to practically anybody. These people are masters of emotion and logic -- able to convince people, through arguments along both of these lines, that they just can't live without (and can afford to live with) whatever it is they are selling. Good salespeople are sometimes amazing to watch.
Even more amazing (and downright shocking at times) is just how bad some people are at selling things. While some have the sales pitch reduced to a science, others can only watch the great masters, having nothing to contribute themselves. The Shelanman had an encouter with one of these people recently, at a place I didn't expect to find a sales pitch at all: The Gym.
On October 5th, I went to the 24 Hour Fitness facility nearest my office in Irvine, California. I recently started a serious diet program, and had a thought something along the lines of this: "If the gym is near the office, I can go every day on my way home... if it's really easy, maybe I'll really go." Alas, but things are never so easy...
I entered the gym, and encountered a rack of T-shirts, gym shorts, protein bars, and even CDs for sale. I approach the desk and announce: "I would like to join your gym. How much does this cost?" I didn't care too much about touring the facility, I was expecting a mediocre gym with a decent selection of equipment, but all I really needed was a reasonable workout environment near work.
I should have been an easy sale -- I was convinced already that this particular gym was the absolute best on the planet (for my needs) solely based on its location. I was seriously interested in joining, and was prepared to do so on the spot, that day, if only the price were right.
The salesman, Jason, I believe his name was, gave me a truly pathetic tour of the gym. He knew what to show me, but not what to say about it (in his defense, it was his 1st week working at the gym, but still). Then he drags me over to a desk with a computer whose monitor faces away from me, and drags out the price book. He asks if I care whether or not my membership is good at all 24 Hour Fitness locations, or just the one I was in. I didn't care, so he showed me the "plans" for 1 gym only.
As an aside, I wish to spend a few words saying that I think it is pathetic that something like a gym membership needs to be as grossly overcomplicated as a cellular telephone plan. Do I need different plans and packages for a gym? I just want to pay X dollars a month, and be able to use the gym whenever (and however) I choose.
Anyway, back to the pitch. The short version is that I had 2 choices: Pay $178 to join, plus $31.99 a month for all eternity, or pay "Only" $98 to join, and $41.99 a month. Incidentally, its only $22.98 a month to join all the 24 Hour Fitness gyms, but that costs approximatley $600 to start! Upon hearing these obscene prices, I left.
Five days later I returned, figuring that I could try and negotiate a better deal for myself. I met an excellent salesman. He tried to convince me that the $600 to start plan was a good deal, and then when he saw I wasn't interested, showed me the $799 to start, no dues for 3 years plan. He let the personal trainer spend a half hour talking to me (the $799 plan included 4 1-hour training sessions). Ultimately, we negotiated a deal that was satisfactory. $79 to start, $31.99 a month (but only if I "signed up today").
I agreed, and handed over my credit card. As the salesman was typing my credit card number into his computer the manager comes over and informs me that I can't have the deal. Instead, I can pay an extra $50 to start, or an extra $7 per month. I told the manager that he was halfway done losing his sale. He replied "This isn't a sale! I don't sell anything! This is about getting in shape." Uh-huh, right... if this isn't a sale, why are you selling so hard? Mr. Manager then informs me that if I don't take his deal the poor salesman who I've been working with is likely to get punished.
Finally he asks me why I can't cough up an extra $50. I tell him in very simple terms: I'm handing over $80 in "processing fees" plus 2 months dues ($64, making the total $144), and all he has to do is punch my name into the system and give me a pass or whatever they use... hardly a fair trade as it is. His response was truly special: "Well... I... I can appreciate that.... that line of thinking... But... you know... I have a wife and 3 kids to feed... so I can't appreciate-" He didn't get to finish the sentence -- I was gone.
It is hardly my problem if 24-Hour doesn't give him enough money to live off of, and either way, $80 to start plus $31.99 a month for all eternity (nobody ever cancells these things) is a whole heck of a lot better than the $0 he ended up with... To make a long story short, I am now a member of L.A. Fitness, I got a better deal, they seem like better clubs, and I can go to any one in California, and I get 1 free hour of personal training, and I was the recipient of a superb sales pitch. No pressure, no guilt, just a reasonably good deal from a cheerful person who seemed genuinely pleased to be asking for my money, instead of angry that I wasn't just dishing out the cash.
-- The Shelanman
Soon to be The Skinny Shelanman!
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Pump it in, Pump it out
Once again, its The Shelanman here with a timely report. On Monday October 4th the L.A. Times Health section ran an article entitled "Heal the heart, hurt the mind?" about a possible side-effect of open-heart surgery that I thought was both bizarre and interesting. (source: L.A. Times. 10/4/2004. Foreman, Judy. (no link, subscription required))
Apparently some doctors have noticed that after a patient spends time on a heart-lung machine (used during bypass surgery, among others according to the article), they have a decrease in their "mental sharpness." Apparently in many cases, this condition wears off over a couple of days, but is sometimes permanent. The article does not cite any specific studies, but there is a widespread (unproven) opinion within the medical community that this effect does actually exist...
As the article points out, it is difficult to know how common this effect is. After all, IQ tests are not part of a pre-cardiac-surgery checkup, and for that matter, there is healthy debate as to the accuracy of those tests.
I seem to have forgotten the amusing angle of this otherwise-serious seeming story. This condition, which may or may not exist, and may or may not come from a heart-lung machine, has a name: pump-head. That's right, those doctors that usually come up with lovely scientific and completely unemotional names somehow decided to call this pump-head.
It is believed that pump-head occurs due to air-bubbles or blood clots that enter the brain and may become temporarily or permanently londged there while the patient is on the pump.
What's the moral of this story? Well, that's two-fold:
- Doctors should be encouraged to come up with such creative and humorous names for serious conditions more frequently
- Perhaps you should think twice before volunteering to have a second big pump attached to yourself.
-- The Shelanman
Purveyor of the bizarre-but-true
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October 12, 2004
What Are You Looking At?
Today, as part of my work, I was reading Guy Kawasaki's The ART of the START, when I came across something infinitely amusing, that I just had to share. Somewhere in chapter 2, Guy discusses company naming, and how the name of a company should fit with what it does in a slightly clever, and highly memorable way.
He gives several examples of things with good names, such as individual Pokemon which look somewhat like their names. Out of the blue he mentions a small advertising company that he encountered one day in an airport restroom. Seems this company buys ad space in public restrooms across the nation; Naturally they are called Flush Media. In the words (or, actually, just word) of Mr. Kawasaki, "Brilliant!"
A review of this book is forthcoming (I have to read it first), but so far, interesting enough. In the meanwhile, Flush Media's website is "temporarily under construction" at http://www.flushmedia.com
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October 05, 2004
Doctor-Patient [Sexual] Relationships?
Today marks the beginning of a new category on the State of the Shelanman — "Real World, Re-mystified."
This companion to "Real World, Demystified" will contain articles discussing things that just go to show, the real world makes no sense!
Today we discuss a U.K. Study about the [un]ethicalness of Doctor Patient Sexual Relationships (source: BBC News UK).
According to the article subheadline: "Four in 10 medical students feel sex between doctors and patients can be justified, a study shows."
If you are like me, that quote should have immediately gotten a "What?!?". Well, I've read the article, and... I have half an answer, but am left with the same feeling in a different way...
Apparently, the 40% who said that such a relationship could be justified really said no such thing. In fact, as you read on you will discover that actually, they said, on a survey, that they would accept a dinner invitation with a patient.
It turns out, the qualifiers and modifiers do not end there... In fact, they were presented with a scenario. They were the only doctor capable of treating the patient's condition. In fact, they were the only doctor on a remote Scottish island.
To further complicate things, apparently the study "made it clear the patient was interested in pursuing a relationship with them."
I have a few questions of my own at this point:
- How exactly did they make it clear that someone is interested in pursuing a relationship? I doubt they came right out and said it, or the BBC article would have quoted the question.
- Isn't it just a bit dishonest to say that 40% of doctors believe that doctor-patient sexual relationships can be justified based on the fact that 40% said that, in a specific weird situation, accepting a dinner invitation was possibly acceptable? I mean, after the Clinton thing, we've all heard debates about what constitutes sex. But I seriously doubt that anybody considers accepting a dinner invitation a sexual relationship!
- What kind of sick, demented institution contrived such a bizarre study as this, and why?
So... instead of de-mystifying myself, reading the article only confused me more. But at least I can rest assured that 40% of doctors don't really believe that its ok to have sex with patients as the headline suggests...
What on Earth?!!?!
— The Shelanman
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